New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
