Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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