3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
