They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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