WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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