a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
