Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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