last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
