My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
