So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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