Moan for me like Helen Keller
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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