You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
