im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
