You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's the barista slut.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
