sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
