I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
