Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
