I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
