Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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