i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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