no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
