Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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