I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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