Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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