On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Found your dick twin last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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