I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
