We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
