Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
