I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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