Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My penis needs a shock collar
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
