i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
