This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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