I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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