Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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