apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
