wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
