lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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