so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
