I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
