It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
