All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
