Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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