I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
