Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
