You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
