HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
