my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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