I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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