I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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