i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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