he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Panties = found
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
