I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
