i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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