and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
