this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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